What does your life look like? How have you limited your life? Where does your inner critic stories show up?
Those question begin to peel back the limiting aspect of life. I am a bad father? Romance is just not me. I can’t connect with others. I am not that attractive. That’s Crap!!
Yeah, okay, okay – most men may have checked out by now. Ahhhh – questions about life (arms flailing above my head) . Bear with me guys, it can be life changing if you dare.
The questions above are the questions that have defined, or better yet, limited your life. It doesn’t matter what the topic is we all have that inner critic. You might excel professionally, but as a husband or father, you’re not a peak performer. A lot of guys will push it aside and say, “that’s just the way I am.”
Eric Larson, life and leadership coach and founder of Men, Alive Life and Leadership Coaching, would just laugh and say “That’s bullshit”. We invited Eric into to give a free workshop October 22nd on Silencing your Inner Critic.
Eric has coached literally thousands of men on uncovering their limits by analyzing the inner critic and making men limitless. At the workshop Eric offered a four stage approach to silencing your inner critic: Define, Originate, Consequences, Action.
Define it: what is your self-limiting story? Are you “not good enough”, “too weird” or “I don’t fit in”, “not lovable”? Starting with defining what your inner critic is saying is important because you bring it out into the open.
Where did it Originate: The workshop then focused on where in our life did we start to hear these inner critic stories. Was it during your childhood and something your parents use to say. I remember my parents always criticizing me or not wanting me to do things. That’s where I think my limits started. But now that I am, we are, older, do we still need to hear these stories? Better yet, do we realize that these are just stories and not really REAL!
What are the Consequences of the stories: How has the stories of you inner critic limited your life? Or how has the stories made you act, say things, behave? A powerful exercise I learned from improvisation was called “Declare”. In this exercise, I had to say an emotion in a way that also displayed the emotion. If I said “Angry” I had to BE angry when I said it. Then, when you start an improvisation scene, start with an emotion and all your words and actions follow. AH HA!
That’s the same way life works too. When you’re mad, you say mad things. If you’re happy, you say happy things. What if you’re “not good enough” … you say and do things that illustrate you’re not good enough. That’s an AH HA moment! It makes your marriage end. You may not perform well in your job. Literally, you are telling the world you are not good enough with each word and action. Then realize it’s crap! It…is…just…a…story!
Now take Action: Okay, now that your life of stories, of lies are uncovered, it becomes conscious. What are you going to do? Ignore what you just learned and push it aside by saying “that’s just the way I am”? Or are you going to pay attention to the consciousness and start to change, realizing that your inner critic and the limits are just a story? It’s not real.
What’s your choice? Just like the Matrix, you take the blue pill and you will fall blissfully asleep and continue on with your life. But if you take the red pill you will face a hard reality and you have a lot of work and re-storying telling to create.
Do you see the value in our meetings? We are the red pill. But we help make reality less hard. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Meetings are even more powerful when you come, address you specific situation and then have a discussion about it; discussions lead to connecting with other men.
That is what The Network is all about:
- Connect with other men
- Learning how to make life better and easier
- Supporting one another
- Advocating for each other
- We build inner strength
Please join us; coming to a meeting to help yourself. At the meeting we all help each other. And together … we will build a community.