I’ve been just about every kind of dad there is – a step dad, a biological dad, a 40% parent and a full time parent. And I was a mentor through the Big Brother Big Sister organization.
Any way you slice it, being a dad, a parent or a mentor is tough. I admit, I am not a perfect dad. But I do the best I can and try to help my sons be good men. I have to managing being too much of a teacher with letting my sons learn on their own. I have to manage enforcing too much discipline and balance it with the right amount of love. And I have to manage being too concerned with letting go and with having my sons become independent.
As a single parent for many years, the managing and balancing was tough. But I always had the attitude that it’s not about always being a perfect dad, it’s about always trying to be a better dad tomorrow.
Getting divorce was a test of “always trying to be a better dad tomorrow”. If I was not with my sons all the time, how could I teach or discipline? And that letting go thing – well that accelerated way before my kids were ever 18.
Was I sad, especially at first. Then I switched my mind frame; don’t focus on quantity time, focus on quality time. High quality time is much better than being there 100% of the time with half the attention (because I’m always doing something).
When I switched to that “high quality” thinking, coupled with my effort to always be a better dad, it hit me. Maybe I only have just 10%, 20% or even 50% parenting time, but 100% of the time I AM ALWAYS A DAD!!
A divorced dad’s Father’s Day wishes to all of my fellow divorced dads!!